Crash Course in College Classrooms

I'm a senior in college. Being that general education credits are required for everyone, most freshman take similar classes. I went against the grain and skipped one of my 'early' classes during college and decided to take it as a senior.
Geography 212. Weather and Climate.
It was either that or Chemistry. I'm still bitter about chemistry from high school, so no.


Anyway. I am in geography with most freshman. Some of them need a crash course on college, so here it is. If you're going to college or are in college, or want a laugh, pay attention.






Rules for college:

• Got a squeaky chair? Sit still. You're a big boy/girl. You don't have to move every 19 seconds.
• Late for class? Don't make a scene. Sit down. Don't try to explain why you were late in front of a class of 186. 
• Don't know the answer to a direct question? Don't volunteer to answer. 
• Is the teacher talking? Then shut up.
• Don't pack up early. If your class ends at 11:10, pack up at 11:10. Packing up 8 minutes early will disrupt the class while the professor is attempting to make use of their time.
• Put your phones on vibrate or turn them off. It's real simple.
• Your opinion does matter. If you're discussing an open ended topic, don't be afraid to share your opinion. As long as you support your point, the teacher will love it.
• If you're going to play games on your phone or computer, don't even think about sitting anywhere near the front. It's distracting to those around you.
• By all means, bring food/drink to class if allowed by the professor. But please. If it's a bag of doritos or other food that sounds like a cadence off of Drumline while you're crunching on it, leave it at home. 
• There generally aren't assigned seats. Don't tell somebody "that's my seat". This isn't 3rd grade.
• Unless it's a debate class, don't argue with the professor. Discuss it after class if it's that big of a deal.
• Teachers often have nervous ticks. A random noise or 'comfort word' they use too often. If you pick it out early in the semester it'll make for a fun(ny) semester. 
• Sit in the front.
• Sit by people who take notes and don't talk. It'll make your semester flow more smoothly.
• If you have an early class. Bring coffee. Bring a red bull. Bring something to keep you awake. 
• Ask questions. Ask questions. Ask questions. These professors work for YOU. See them in their office hours. Call them. Email them. Annoy the heck out of them until you understand the subject. 

I could go on for hours.  But I'll leave it at that.