One of Those Days

Today is one of those days.

Where I wish I was somewhere else. Somewhere but here. Not that here is so bad. Not that 'here' is bad at all. 'Here' is actually pretty good. But I'd rather be somewhere else.

I have had a burden for missions so strongly this year. Some days it catches me off guard. Some days I break down crying in my car. I cry because I don't know exactly how to accomplish what I feel God is calling me to do. I don't even know exactly know what God is calling me to do.

I just know I'm called.

I reflect on my times elsewhere. My heart strings pull. My desires are in two places.

Each word I speak in a foreign language reflects each sentiment to go.

There's also the frightening aspects.

Another country. Away from friends. Away from family.

Today is one of those days.

Where I realize how blessed I am. Where most people live on less than a dollar a day.

And we have a few of those just sitting around.

Where we complain about car issues. And some people would give anything to have car issues, just to have a car. Just to get around.

Today is one of those days where I wish I could walk everywhere.

Where I wish I could get lost somewhere and learn about a different culture.

And not complain about the government, or how high gas prices are.

And not worry.

Today is one of those days.

Where I silently reflect on my thoughts, not talking about it.

I'm not sure exactly how to verbalize how I feel.

I'm not sure many would understand.

Some would scoff. Some would think I'm overreacting.

Some would not sympathize with the desire to be away.

Some would.

Some get it.

Thoughts of finances, school, relations, friends, family, church, youth, responsibilities, etc weigh on me as I try to figure out how my life is going to work out.

How is everything going to fit? Which aspects of my life will be separated from me?

Which will grow stronger?

Trust. Trust. Trust.

Timing. Timing. Timing.

His will. His will. His will. At any cost.

Todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece.

Three thoughts.

Thought one.
Sometimes it's okay to be honest.
In fact, I'll venture to say it's best to be honest all the time.
Chances are, you might be pleasantly surprised.
What about when you're not not being honest, but holding back the truth? For fear? For insecurity? For trust in self?
When was the last time you were completely honest with somebody? It's refreshing. Rejuvenating.


Thought two.
If we truly trust in the Lord, worrying shouldn't happen.
But yet. We worry. Why? If God has it all under control, then why do we try and solve the jigsaw?
But what we must understand is that God is the center of the universe. Not us. Simple understanding, really. When we let go of our life and place our life in God's hands, He can take over. We will know that His perfect will, although unclear at times, is everlasting and, well, perfect.


Thought three.
Each day, I continue to grow a passion for the Spanish language and the latin american culture. I am currently in a Spanish conversation class for interim. Not in my own talents do I claim my talents in the spanish language, but in the Lord. I was praying in my car yesterday that He would continue to help my in my speaking skills so that one day I can reach the lost and spread the gospel in the Spanish language. As I began to weep in my car feeling the presence of God, I became more aware of His will for my life of wanting to use this beautiful language for His Kingdom.

I do

To the girl who dresses modestly, and thinks nobody notices. I do.

To the girl who is constantly weighed down by the pressures of culture to dress provocatively, and doesn't, I notice.

To the girl who tries her best to please God through her attire, and thinks nobody is aware. I am.

To the girl who isn't sure if it's important to be aware of her standards and aim to please God through every way. It is.

To the girl who remains stable in a world full of instability and quickly descending morals. Thank you.

Thank you for not faltering.

Thank you for not changing.

Thank you for remaining.

Thank you for continuing in holiness.

Yeah, it's a God thing, and without holiness, no one will see God. We are holy to please God. But when a girl dresses modestly, it's incredibly helpful to guys.

Guys continually are engaged in battle with their mind, mainly through the avenue of their eyes to fight against immorality.

When a girl dresses unsuitable to help other guys, it brings them down.

It doesn't help the battle. It worsens it.

It's difficult to talk to a girl if they're dressed inappropriately, because, although words are being exchanged, a war is being fought in the mind.

Some battles are easier, some battles contain more challenges. But there is a war, regardless.

I don't know a guy that doesn't deal with this.

It's natural.

God gave the human male a natural attraction for females.

But what about lust? It's sin.

So, therefore, it's a continual battle that goes on in the hearts of guys across the globe.

Some don't fight. Some don't even try. But I do. Holiness isn't just for females, it's for males as well. Holiness in the mind and purity in the heart is one of the greatest challenges for men.

So, to the girl who takes it seriously.

To the girl who appreciates holiness.

To the girl who respects herself enough to dress modest.

....and isn't sure that people actually notice.

I do.

Sin Limites

Hablo con palabras sin el sonido
Melodías de sonrisas, todo de vivo
Acciones como canciones
Conversaciones como vacaciones

Un corazón libre, llena de deseo
Sin limites, distancia, al mundo que veo
Mereces cada regalo, agradecimiento
Ofrezco el mundo, mas que está adentro.

Mira el signo, vaya conmigo
Iré contigo por todo el siglo
Pasa el tiempo, el día se escapa
La vida sin limites no tiene mapa

Se ve las marcas antes de borrar
Y las lineas nuevas de reír y llorar
Continuar viajar con dos entera
Sabe que el amor no tiene frontera

While it is Night

While working in youth ministry, it's not uncommon to deal with some things that make life hard. One of the hardest things to deal with is parent/student relationships that are wounded.

It's sad to see students become rebels because their parents are simply doing the best job parenting they can. Raise their kids in truth, and place certain guidelines in their lives for their own good.

But you know what's harder to deal with? Parents who simply don't care. No rules for the teens. No convictions. No guidelines. No example set. I'm not talking about unsaved parents. Parents in the church. Who show no desire for their kids to be saved.

This post is dedicated to a good friend of mine.

She four very talented boys. Who, for the most part, do not appreciate her.

The youngest, of who I have began to pour my life into, has the most desire to live for God.

Currently, her second youngest son has ran away, or at least is camping out at somebody's house of whom nobody knows. Police involved.

Is she a bad parent? Of course not.

All her and her husband did was make it a little difficult for her son to live and put a bit of a squeeze on him because of some very drastic choices he's made involving friends, drugs, etc.

They were being the best parents they knew how to be.

And he took it for granted.

I reached out to him to see if I could get in contact with him. No contact yet.

It just saddens me. I want to see him use his talent for God. Unfortunately, complacency has taken a hold of his heart.

Oh, to see him restored.

God sees the nights this precious mother has cried herself to sleep over his soul. God sees her burden. God sees her efforts to raise him properly. God sees.

Psalm 30:5 (KJV) ⁵For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

In the Thoughts of the Disappointed

Osama Bin Ladin was killed. Yep. It happened.

Honestly, I was surprised he was still alive. I thought for sure he was just dead all these years and his body hadn't been found. So I guess he was alive. Now he's dead.

Call me unpatriotic all you want, but I'm saddened at how much rejoicing has been done.

Justice has been served.

A man who did much wrong is killed.

But rejoicing?

Dancing in the streets?

Death parties?

I don't understand America sometimes.

I'm not stupid. And I haven't forgot 9/11. I haven't forgot the many lives that have been lost.

...but rejoicing because of his death?

Let's look at scripture.

“Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice, or the LORD will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him.” Proverbs 24:17-18 (NIV)

It's not okay to gloat when your enemy fails right? What about when your enemy dies?

Oh, he's a mass murderer, so it's ok.

He killed a lot of people and many people are dead because of him. So it's ok to rejoice?

Everyone is given a measure of grace. According to the Bible, at least.

What about murderers? Rapists? Car thief?

Is one sinner condemned to people judging them because their sin is worse? Of course not. That's ridiculous.

We wouldn't even consider allowing people to dance in the streets if a car thief was shot, but it's ok to rejoice in the streets when a murderer is killed?

I'm not unpatriotic. I'm just looking at the Bible as to what is grace, forgiveness, and mercy.

You see, we can't understand God's love. We judge people. We love them on what they do, say, and how they act.

His love is so hard to understand because of the way we treat our family, friends, co-workers, and strangers.

We don't love how God loves.

What would somebody say if I said that God loved Osama Bin Laden? Chances are, they'd laugh. But it's true.

Know why? Because God doesn't judge people based on their actions. I'm not doubting that God isn't pleased with some people's actions, but there's a difference.

“Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice, or the LORD will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him.” Proverbs 24:17-18 (NIV)

In the Letters of a Poet

If I had to choose a super power, it wouldn't be to fly
It wouldn't be teleportation, 'cause anyone can try
It wouldn't even be ability to lift buildings and trains
Or construct a shopping mall with my eyes and my brains
It'd be omniscience

All knowing, perceiving, all powerful in mind
To know whats being thought, to know each kind
There'd be a major price to pay, for knowing too much
But I'll take just a little bit, to know only such
But can it be

Or if I could know the outcome to every scheme
Or see it fulfilled for every 'I have a dream'
Or make a flower unfold and every tree give height
Or every deaf ear sound and every blind man sight
Or so I wonder

What if I could show how I truly feel
And not mess up the words or make the wrong deal
To say everything perfectly and get it all right
To have just a clue or a glimpse of light