One of Those Days

Today is one of those days.

Where I wish I was somewhere else. Somewhere but here. Not that here is so bad. Not that 'here' is bad at all. 'Here' is actually pretty good. But I'd rather be somewhere else.

I have had a burden for missions so strongly this year. Some days it catches me off guard. Some days I break down crying in my car. I cry because I don't know exactly how to accomplish what I feel God is calling me to do. I don't even know exactly know what God is calling me to do.

I just know I'm called.

I reflect on my times elsewhere. My heart strings pull. My desires are in two places.

Each word I speak in a foreign language reflects each sentiment to go.

There's also the frightening aspects.

Another country. Away from friends. Away from family.

Today is one of those days.

Where I realize how blessed I am. Where most people live on less than a dollar a day.

And we have a few of those just sitting around.

Where we complain about car issues. And some people would give anything to have car issues, just to have a car. Just to get around.

Today is one of those days where I wish I could walk everywhere.

Where I wish I could get lost somewhere and learn about a different culture.

And not complain about the government, or how high gas prices are.

And not worry.

Today is one of those days.

Where I silently reflect on my thoughts, not talking about it.

I'm not sure exactly how to verbalize how I feel.

I'm not sure many would understand.

Some would scoff. Some would think I'm overreacting.

Some would not sympathize with the desire to be away.

Some would.

Some get it.

Thoughts of finances, school, relations, friends, family, church, youth, responsibilities, etc weigh on me as I try to figure out how my life is going to work out.

How is everything going to fit? Which aspects of my life will be separated from me?

Which will grow stronger?

Trust. Trust. Trust.

Timing. Timing. Timing.

His will. His will. His will. At any cost.

Todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece.